Back To Me
by LiviLottie
Summary: There is an ancient proverb that says 'Things must always be difficult before they become easy' This has never been truer than in the case of one young woman. A lover to Murphy and a sister of sorts to Connor. Though both left her behind to flee the law. The question rises that once a door is closed should it stay that way forever? M for Language Murphy Mcmanus/OC
1. Chapter 1

_Please understand I am not who I was,__  
__You used to be all that I had, now you're just not what I need,__  
__I've got to get over you then I know, then I can get back to me._

—_Three Doors down._

The icy Boston air raged against her chocolate coloured locks as every strand seemed to dance in the winter's unforgiving breeze. Her pumps hit the ground in a quickened pace as she fought against the clock. The woman pushed hard against the doors to the Irish pub, and was quickly emerged in the warm. Thanking God she was only two minutes late. Her reason for rushing flew at her waist and hugged her tight.

"Eoin. Hello, baby." She whispered into his dark mane so much like his fathers as she kneeled down to kiss his forehead.

"Mom! Guess what! Doc put my picture up behind the bar!"

"Did he?! Wow! Now everybody will be able to see my little Picasso! Huh?"

He chuckled as she planted kisses all over his face. "How about we go home and we get my little artist some ice cream?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay! Grab your coat sweet."

She spotted Doc behind the counter and walked over smiling kindly to the man who had become like a father to her over the years of loneliness.

"Thanks for picking him up, I had an extra shift at the diner." She wearily rubbed at her eyes.

"It-t-t-t-t-t's no tro-tro-tro—problem, Lass."

"But still…"

"Y-y-you FUCK...ASS t-t-two a-a-are practically f-f-family."

Eve smiled affectionately at the man "You still need a bar maid old man?" She joked.

"Y-y-you still c-c-coming t-t-Tuesday?"

"I'll be here for eight on the dot." The blonde retorted smoothly.

"G'night Doc!" Evelyn called over her shoulder as she zipped up Eoin's winter coat and readied his scarf.

"N-n-Night! Lass."

She held the young boy's book bag in her hand as the two walked the sickly streets of south Boston. They made it back to the apartment with no trouble, luckily. As soon as they were in the door she set down the bag and peeled off the large coat. Quickly she made short work of Eoin's.

"All your homework done, Squirt?"

"Yep!" He called happily.

"You wanna' watch some TV before dinner?" The young boy nodded happily before his mind was preoccupied. Rolling her eyes his mother turned and began to make a quick dinner of pasta. Once they had finished eating and after a bath Eoin lay in his bed duvet pulled up to his chin. Eve sat with her back on his pillow, stroking a hand through his untameable hair.

"Do you want your song, Baby?" She whispered into the dark as his head lay upon her chest. He nodded sleepily as he held onto her with an iron grip.

"_Just close your eyes, the sun is going down, you'll be alright, No one can hurt you now, Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound. Don't you dare look out your window darling, everything's on fire, the war outside our door keeps ragin' on, Hold on to this lullaby even when the music's gone. Just close your eyes, the sun is going down, you'll be alright, No one can hurt you now, Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound"_

Her voice gently faded as his soft snores began to radiate around the peaceful room. Evelyn slowly lifted his head onto the pillow and pulled the covers to his chest. Stroking his brown locks out of his innocent face. Placing one last kiss upon his forehead, she turned and walked the short distance to her own room.

It was moments like these, when she'd stare up at the dark ceiling, when Eoin was asleep and she was alone.

It was when she was left to her thoughts that her demons would assault her thoughts and she'd feel the true solitude of the cold desolate bed and then her heart would pang for his presence. The man who didn't know he had a son, the man who she'd spent years trying to find, the man who invaded all her dreams and worst nightmares. The man who was a saint, but most importantly, the man she loved; _Murphy MacManus._

It had been eight years since the courtroom and the separation hadn't got any better. The pain she'd thought would depart hasn't. It was still present and raging as ever. No man had claimed either her heart or her bed. She was Murphy's whether he wanted her or not. Though her mind couldn't help but think it was the latter.

Besides, If he could see her now... she'd be mortified. Yes, she loved her son and wouldn't change a thing about how he was conceived... Quite frankly, she wouldn't have lasted without him. But her; she was a waitress working almost ten hours a day, picking up extra shifts and struggling as a single mom. Her once porcelain skin was aged prematurely and had turned almost translucent. She no longer had a curvy body, as time and malnourishement had turned her gaunt; her collar bone stuck out conspicuously, covered only by a thin sheet of skin. It showed her sacrifice of food when money couldn't stretch for a week so her child would flourish and never go without.

Animosity began to course through her veins as she thought bitterly about the man who claimed to love her; She would have followed him anywhere and it angered her that this cut was still raw, She had developed no more than that naive twenty seven year old he left—Still hung up about her saint. Just as a leopard can't change its spots; Evelyn can't change her heart, No matter how much she may wish to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi! I wont normally put A/N on the chapters, but I would really like you to either PM me or review if you want me to give Connor and Murphy accents in my writing. Sometimes it pisses me off if it takes me ages to read, but I don't know... Please give me feedback! Thank You To everyone who Followed and Favorited! It was greatly appreciated.**

* * *

_Tears forget, that's more than I can do,_  
_'Cause they don't wash away,_  
_All the things that we've been through,_  
_I've put behind me my share of the shame,_  
_We could call villains but it's all in vain._

_-Three Doors Down_

* * *

"Eoin Connor Blake. Hurry it up!" Evelyn called to her young son who was currently situated on the couch, heavily engrossed in the mind melting contraption known as the television. Sighing heavily, the woman dropped her purse on the kitchen counter and in two long strides she stood before him. Clutching the remote in her hand she flicked the off button, though that seemed just to make the channel change over. "_Piece of crap_." she whispered under her breath.

"Mom! I was watching that!"

"It's time for school." She berated gently, Kneeling down to Velcro his shoes. "Remember. Doc's picking you up after school and-"

"I wish you didn't have to work so much" The eight year old whispered morosely. A tone which pushed that iron poker right through her heart.

"I'm sorry baby, You know I wish i could spend some more time with my _favouritest_' person in the world, huh?" Eve joked in earnest kissing his face like she did when he was a tiny baby. _God_. She missed those times, The times when she could make him smile with her mere presence, when she didn't have to constantly let him down. Though she was quickly pulled out of her self-flagellation by the booming Television enraptured her attention.

_" People are demanding answers as to how a priest could be murdered in a church. But perhaps more shocking, we have confirmed that the body was ritualized with pennies in the eyes. Many remember this as the grisly calling card of the prolific vigilante killers known as the Saints, who went on a murder spree here in Boston."_

"They wouldn't" She whispered errantly as she raised her palm to her chest where a simple silver cross lay and breathed a hesitant prayer while shutting her eyes tightly and for a moment she allowed herself to be bombarded by distant memories of better times...

* * *

**-1999-  
3 Days after the first hit on Yuri Petrova.**

_The cold bit at her bare feet as she lay on sprawled on his chest, completely encompassed by his bare muscled arms. Time meant nothing, they had no rush,no worries; Only each other. Her face was buried in his neck as she was overwhelmed by the sheer Murphy of his scent._

_"Mmh." He grunted as he woke, his arms tightening their hold on her body. "Mornin', Lass."_

_She snickered at his husky voice before burrowing further into his warm body. "Good Morning, Love." _

_"I 'av somethin' for ya. I meant ta' give it ta' ya' las' nigh, luv." _

_She chuckled suggestively as she wiggled her eyebrows in jest. "Well... I didn't wanna' say anything about your performance but..."_

_"Cheeky whore." She bit his neck playfully for the rebuke. He carefully disentangled their limbs;Not without a grunt of indignation from Eve of course... But Murphy reached into his jean pocket and pulled out a little silk cloth bag. She bit her lip as she pulled the sheet around her chest, intrigued with what her lover was doing. _

_"Ere'" He thrust the bag into her palm, while he skillfully evaded her searching moss eyes and his normally confident persona abandoned as he stared at the sheets. Slowly she released the tie on the bag, and poured its content into her hand. A small cross fell into her open palm. It was around the size of her thumb and it shone in the light._

_"I saw it and though' of ya'. Silver is beautiful, but it's stronger den' gold l. In tha' bible it said tha' like God's word, Silver purifies the just Saints through affliction.__Ya' Purify me Eve, Ya' Keep me good. Ya're my Silver.** Ya're my treasure**"_

* * *

**-Present Day-**

_"Mom? Mom?! **MOM?!"**_

"Sorry Baby, I zoned out for a minute there. You all ready to go?"

Eoin nodded enthusiastically as Evelyn turned and walked up to the screen. Placing a single finger on the switch she clicked and the source of her headache disintegrated into blackness as her heart once again became heavy with unanswered questions.

Evelyn walked Eoin to school with no trouble and with a kiss on the forehead and a warning of causing trouble she was off to work for her seventh consecutive shift this week. The mundane activity nearly sent her head spinning as she took order after order. Never failing to offer a tired smile as the morning progressed into noon. Evelyn walked over to the till of the diner and stood behind the breakfast bar, when a familiar face smiled widely at her.

Maurine stood before her, The cherry haired girl smiled broadly as her whole aura ebbed happiness. The young girl was no more than eighteen, she still had her clear face and doe eyes. Both of which reality had stripped from the older woman.

"Hey Eve!"

"Hi, Rin." Evelyn replied with all the false optimism she could muster up.

"Have you heard about them wack jobs on the news?"

"Mmh? Who?" Eve asked absently as she wiped down the counter.

"The saints! Their totally back!"

Her heart pounded in her chest and thumped in her ears, Eve was positive Rin could hear it from where she stood. If just hearing their name emanated this response, She dreaded a time when she would hear their their true ones. She could barely bring herself to think them without becoming either a complete zombie from grief or hulking out from rage. So she decided to be aloof and it had worked until now. She couldn't sit here and allow people to accuse them of this crime. Regardless if her arguing would do very little for their reputation she couldn't stop her big mouth from running off.

"That wasn't them."

"Huh? Pennies in their eyes?! Who else does that? I'm telling you it's the saints; Their back!"

"Their good men. They'd never kill a priest in cold blood."

"You're talking like you know em'" Rin retorted with a raised eyebrow.

"I doubt anybody would want to..." She left unsaid the fact that she had given birth to one of their sons; After all she didn't need a swat team on her ass.

"Huh. I guess your right." Deflated by her lack of gossip Rin turned and began to serve customers. Evelyn sighed at her defensive nature. All of a sudden she was pulled out of her thoughts by her mobile ringing. Pulling open the pocket on her apron she flipped it open.

"Hello?"

"Yes, Miss Blake?"

"Yeah, That's me."

"This is Mrs Lohar, From St. Josephs Elementary school, Eoin hasn't being feeling well, I hate to compromise you but we thought it would be best to send him home."

_Shit. _

That was the first thing that popped into her head. See? The thing is, Eve had been picking up extra shifts at the diner because it was Eoin's eighth birthday next month and she wanted it to be the best one yet. She had managed to save quite a-lot, but she was going to get him that bike if it killed her. He had been asking for it since last year; He'd been so patient, never moaning or groaning only putting up with shit he didn't deserve, like an absent father and an horrible excuse for a mother.

"No! That's fine! Thank-you for calling! I'll be down as soon as I can!" She hung up the phone and untied her apron, taking it and shoving it in her bag.

"Rin! I need to go! Eoin's not feeling well!"

"'kay! I'll cover for ya'"

"Thank you so much!"

She turned buttoning up her coat and departed into the Boston winter breeze to pick up her son.

* * *

As soon as they arrived home, she helped him into the bath and began to wash his hair.

"Did you not feel good this morning, Squirt?"

"No." He said quietly sniffing.

When she'd arrived at the office, she'd been red faced from a cocktail of the cold and racing through the busy lunchtime crowds. To see him sitting their looking pathetically sad; She couldn't help but rejoice in the fact that when he saw her his whole face lightened up.

"Why'd you not say anything, Dumbo?"

"I didn't want you to worry..." Her heart broke in two. Her little man, so much like his father, always trying to do right, even at the age of seven.

"Hey. If you don't feel good, tell me. I wont be mad and I wont get upset. I'm your Mommy. It's my job to make you feel better, Sweet."

"Kai..." He told her sleepily. Steam rose around them in the bathroom as she scrubbed his light hair.

"Lets get you in your Jammies!" She told him enthusiastically as she wrapped a towel around his shoulders. Expertly Eve dressed him and had him tucked up in bed in less than ten minutes.

"I'll go and get you some hot chocolate to warm you up bud, Huh?"

He nodded happily as Evelyn arranged yet another blanket around him and placed a feather light kiss on his forehead. Turning quickly she strode into the kitchen and started to warm milk, She held a mug in her hand as there was a loud knock on the door. Eve turned and traipsed towards the door, Pulling the thick oak open she was met with the last person she ever expected to see; Connor Macmanus stood their in all his glory. His lips pulled up in a small sad smile.

"'Ello Lass... t'as been a while..."


End file.
